—Gail, Austin, Texas

Obviously you have no appreciation for the fine art of country-rock-power-pop. Jessica Simpson just dropped a whole album of that stuff, titled Do You Know, and it's driving the hayseeds loco. Per our own Marc Malkin, the album was the most downloaded on iTunes right after it debuted earlier this week.

Naturally, Simpson must promote said album, or most people would lose their opportunity to hear timeless lyrics about being "consumed in your fire." So that translates into some genius marketing strategies, such as:

1. Singing live on Good Morning America—with only two flubs. She blamed technical glitches.

2. Publicly telling fans of the Eagles football team that the Dallas Cowboys are "going to kick your butts."

3. Informing a crowd at the Grand Ole Opry that she believes God wanted her to sing "Remember That," a track that appears on her album.

4. Disclosing that she "passes gas a lot" during a live show in Niagara Falls. "I guarantee," she assured the crowd, "it smells like roses."

5. Assuring Extra viewers that she's a good girlfriend.

And thank goodness for that last disclosure. I was losing sleep worrying.

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